it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
