I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
