I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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