next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
