so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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