just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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