smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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