Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
