just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just want to make out with him forever
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
