I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Your cock deserves a montage
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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