Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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