idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
