what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
