make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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