Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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