i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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