i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he fucked my hip out of place.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
