just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
