I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
