I feel great
I just peed on a car
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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