i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
