true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
