why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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