I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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