yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
