We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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