My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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