I wish i was in the wii world.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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