Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
