her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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