Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Randomize
