how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
