He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
