Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
