So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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