I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
