Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
