FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
