Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
