Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
