He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
this boner is exhausting
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
