He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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