I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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