I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
