Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
