It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I see more hoeing in ur future
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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