I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
