How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
