i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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