i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
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