i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
