listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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