I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
